I forget.

That bad people

Were once kids

Scared of the world

Just like me

-

I assume they also

Had a compass inside them

The dial had not yet been turned and twisted.

I forget.

That they might have been afraid

Of the monsters that hid in their closet

Not even thinking

Not for a split second

That one day

They would inevitably

Become the monster

They were once so afraid of

When I think of it this way

The pain doesn’t get easier

They don’t become less of a monster

They become more of a human

Just like me.

Probably still afraid of the monsters in their closet.

Probably still wishing someone would check under their bed.

Bits of you are still bits of me 

Your old self still haunts me like my new self haunts you.

Mold your hands around me 

Carve into my soul 

The temperamental beauty 

Of a said and spoken love 

Touch my heart of marble 

Refrain to turn to stone 

The temperamental beauty 

Of a said and spoken love 

Write my thoughts down as your own 

Spill your tears through my eyes 

Then 

Mold your hands around me 

Carve into my soul 

The permanence of beauty 

Of a said and spoken love

Sunflower kisses 

Floating through the trees 

Come and find me 

Follow the breeze 

I want to be close 

To the golden sky 

When the aching sun 

Starts to cry 

The storm rolls through 

The damage done 

Time has passed 

I’ve had my fun 

The storm moves through 

I’ve time to look around 

Skies are turing blue 

Feet are on the ground

One day, when I’m faded and shrunken 

When my sunken eyes can barely see 

I’ll donate my brain to science 

And they’ll feast on it 

At a gala 

With the worlds 

Most ignorant.

They’ll look at it with wonder 

Claim it’s a delicacy 

As they bite, 

there will be shrieks of pain and sadness 

Booms of laughter 

So much love 

And they will be lucky enough

Cursed enough 

To have gotten a taste

                        a glimpse 

Of the emotions i felt in my life.  

make a blanket

from everything here

of leaves and trees

and of course that air

and when i leave

I’ll wrap myself up

- all bundled and such

and for a moment

it’ll all be clear

I tend to live in the past

Or think too much about the future

I forget that one day

They will all catch up to each other

And I will be praying for a redo

—-a second chance

To do it all a little better

And the world will say no

Goodnight to the pretty thoughts

That intrude my mind

Goodnight to the daydreams

That seldom get to play out

Goodnight to the day

That has turned to the night

Goodnight moon.

Take me to a haunted house

I want to feel something

If the feeling got scared out of me

Maybe it can be scared back in

So bear with me

As you watch me

Smoke my dinner

I’m sorry mom,

I wasn’t meant to be a winner

People are always wanting

younger

vibrant

less melancholic

more teenage dream

So I find myself

trying to feel youthful

trick them, trick me

even though I’m literally only

23.

I guess I fully volunteered myself to be at the mercy of a complete stranger.

Leaning my head against someone who does not belong in my world nor I in theres.

My words are for

those that live in fruit houses

who avoid the masses

and live in the delusional sea

strum strum strum

as fast as you can

you can’t catch him

he’s the “shell of a man”

you built your walls up a little too high

you don’t let people see what’s inside

you fall in love and then you run away

but that’s how you knew you were safe.

you give out love a little too easy

you let people run you around

and then you cry and then you fall

just wanna get off this merry-go-round

so round and round you go

letting people in and letting people go

round and round you go

oh i wish i had some self control

One day I’m going to get tired.

tired of

folding

molding

squishing

squeezing

myself into places I don’t fit anymore

One day I’ll finally be able to let go.

Until then

I’m going to suffer in uncomfortable silence

Because I’m so scared to be alone

I force myself to live and enjoy the moment

I then get so caught up in this moment

Thinking forever is in my hands

Forgetting that one day

The moment will end

And I might be forced to find a new one

Writing about you is annoying

It’s necessary

It’s everything I did

Now it’s everything I never want to do

Here I go again

Embarrassing myself

In front of three strangers

I’ll never meet.

Crying about you

Playing about you

And they’re all just wondering

When I’ll stop.

After all,

You really didn’t have to grow up

You chose that

You could’ve stayed here

And let me watch you grow old

I dread watching time tug at your soul

Reminding you that there isn’t much left

And the end is waiting around each corner you turn

Seeing if it can catch you off guard

As it tends to do

In one life or another